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Housework chores are something to think about once we are married and move in together. You can read this post about sharing chores.
But there is something we should NEVER do when it come to housework chores!
I remember reading this a long time ago and I took a mental note of it because I was sure to need to remember it later. And sure enough yesterday I recalled the information and with held my urge to do that one thing we should never do!
We should never redo a chore our spouse or kid did just because it was not up to our perfect standard.
I remember reading the article back then and it just made sense with me and I have remembered it since then. The article was talking about how if your spouse or child helps with a chore yet you redo it afterwards you are indirectly telling them what they did was not good enough or you did not appreciate their help. Which can then cause hurt feelings or make them not want to help any more.
Yesterday I brought in a load of towels but had not folded them yet. I was cooking dinner and Ryan started folding the towels. After dinner I walked into the living room to see the towels stacked up on the couch. My first thought was “Wow! How did he fold those?” They looked completely different than normal (He has folded the towels before.). So once I got closer I saw it was the same way we normally did it just not as symmetrical and neat.
My first thought was, “Oh, I’ll just redo them really quickly.” And not a second later after that thought pasted through my mind I laughed at myself and thought this, “What does it matter? They will fit in the closet. They are just going to be unfolded in a few days anyways. And besides he took the time to be helpful!”
I put the towels away while laughing at myself again at the thought of refolding them. I thanked Ryan for folding the towels and went along my evening.
Tell us in the comment section below what housework chores do you refrain from redoing because you are blessed your husband or kids help out with?
What if the chore is dishes and the still have food on them that creates bacteria, or the floor is swept so poorly that ants are getting in the house. There are things that need to be done properly.
Sherrie,
You make a good point. There are somethings like folding towels that it doesn’t cause issues where the chores you mentioned might. I still believe you should never redo the chore for them. If I was in that kind of situation I would talk to my spouse/kids about why it is important to do the chore with a certain standard so that it does not cause these problems. When explained the situation to them I would stay focused on the expectations and importance of it rather than saying negatives about how they did not complete the chore properly. Then ask them to redo it properly. Giving them praises for correcting it and being understanding on the topic. Good communication about this topic should ideally solve the issue the first time it is talked about.
Hope that clears up the confusion!
Well I guess I get a fail in this area. I have softened over the years. I let the ones slide that don’t matter, like the towels. But there are some things I can’t let slide. So I just do it myself and don’t assign anyone else to do it. Saves me a lot of anxiety and them too!
Thank you for writing this. I was upset with my husband for rearranging the cups that I put away this morning. I told him that he should spend his time cleaning the bathroom that never gets cleaned or vacuuming the floor that never gets vacuumed or cleaning the dog poop in the back yard… You see my point?