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I recently discovered great newlywed advice for avoiding marriage communication problems… It comes down to asking questions, listening and sharing all the details.
There was a time when Cassie was asking a lot of questions about our house…
We were in the final stages of buying our first house and throughout this process I had been doing the majority of the work since Cassie has limited time to make calls while she is teaching.
This process had actually gone very well and smooth…
Everything from… Getting financed…Working with our fantastic Realtor… Looking at houses… Finding “the” house… Making an offer… Inspections… And now it was time for repairs…
Towards the end of the process it seems that Cassie was asking me more… and more… and more… questions about the process than normal…
I would give her a new detail… and she wouldrespond with 2-3 questions…
Things like…
We need to get this…where do we get this…
They need to do that… who will be doing that…
How soon… and how long…
At first I didn’t think much about it… Then I realized that she was in fact asking more questions… My next thought was WHY?
My conclusion… it was all my fault!!!
The reason we ask questions is because we obviously don’t know the answer… DUH!!!… Or haven’t been given all the details…
Now there is a situation were one person could be distracted for example if I’m playing video games there is a 99% chance that I will retain about 5% of the information from the conversation lol But I’m not talking about that right now… right now I’m talking about open and uninterrupted conversation.
Well that’s where I had been dropping the ball those last few days…
Cassie had been asking questions because I had been leaving out a lot details… and since she didn’t understand what I was saying… she in turn asked more questions.
It’s really very simple lol
I was telling her the information as if she knew everything I knew… It sounds crazy but seriously I am sure you can think of a handful of time this has happened to you! If she knew everything I knew she wouldn’t be asking hahaha 🙂
At one point in my life questions annoyed me… I would get stressed out and eventually not want to talk about anything!
After my recent revelation… I now have greater clarity and a deeper understanding.
I now feel silly for leaving the details out… my wife is amazing… but she can’t read my mind 😉
Here is something to keep in mind if you are looking to avoid marriage communication problems… If your spouse is asking questions (and they weren’t playing video games prior to your conversation) its safe to say that they don’t fully understand… or you might have left out some important details. Great advice for newlyweds would be instead of getting stressed, annoyed or mad just take a few moments to realize that they are asking questions because they don’t know the answer. These ideas can save you a lot of frustration and energy for both of you!
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