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This morning I was reading The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional
where the title Expressing Feelings was the topic for the day. I immediately thought, “Oh, this will be good!” The past month and a half or so I can tell that my body is trying to get lined all back out post-pregnancy. Which occasionally means my hormones are a bit out of whack. In turn it is teaching me that sometimes I need to express my feelings more or in better ways to Ryan.
The devotional started out by saying it is important to express our feeling to our mate because if we don’t openly share, our feelings will likely show up in some other way. Most likely in our attitude or our behavior. Which then has our spouse wondering what is wrong or asking us if something is the matter. Instead if we express our feelings in a positive way it allows us to be a team to work through them and grow closer together.
I really liked this next part:
[ctt title=”All feelings have their place in our lives and many of them communicate a lot about us.” tweet=”All feelings have their place in our lives, and many of them communicate a lot about us. – @GaryChapman http://ctt.ec/KFUs7+” coverup=”KFUs7″]
It continued on to say:
Most of our feeling are tied to some experience we have had in the past or something we’re going through now. The next time you feel disappointed, ask yourself, What stimulated my disappointment? Then try to share whatever it is with your spouse.
When I read that I just was like, “Ah, that is so true!” First, it is completely okay to have a wide variety of feelings in our lives. Secondly, our reactions to our feelings show so much about us and our character. So how do I want to show up on those days where my emotions are high? And thirdly, those feelings are connected to other experiences.
Although our husband may not understand our past experiences or current circumstances they can still support us if we allow them to. Expressing our feelings openly with them and sharing what might be triggering those feelings are ways to keep communication open. It also allows our men to come beside us for support so that we may work as a team.
No matter how great our guys are or how well they know us they do not always know what is wrong or have the ability to decipher our moods correctly. Instead we wives need to become better at expressing our feelings to them. (Or I guess I should say I know I need to be better at expressing my feelings sometimes.) I know this devotional was a great one for me to read today! I hope sharing it will bless you as well.
What is a way you positively express your feelings to your spouse?
Until Next Time-Truly Love,
Cassie
Good read, Cassie! I needed to hear that. Sometimes its like I think I can wait until the emotion passes and then talk clearly about it but that never works, ha. It usually results in me being irritable. I think a positive way to express my feelings would be to let him know what emotion I’m feeling and if I can’t talk about right then, ask if we can talk later. Or if we do talk, take a minute to try to understand what really made me upset (like the article said).
I am glad you were able to resonate with the post today, Jordan! I know for me personally I don’t stop to think what made me have those feeling and reactions. That is something that I really took away from the devotional.
I do think that women try to express feelings to their husband’s like they do to their girlfriends. Then they wonder why there’s a disconnection or misunderstanding by their husbands! 😉 I love the way you are so vulnerable and real about the way your emotions have been lately (given your circumstances, we all know how tough this time is for a young, post-delivery mom). And I also appreciate how you’ve challenged us to be more careful and understanding of our own emotions and how we express them to our men. Great thoughts, Cassie!
For me one thing I always do to express my emotions more positively is “create space.” That means, I pray, first and foremost. Then I ask my husband to be patient with me as I sort through what I’m feeling, because I don’t understand it fully myself when the emotions are running high. If I ask him in a way that is respectful, he understands and eagerly gives me that “space” to process. Then we return to talk about it later, when our hearts are ready to reengage. 🙂
“No matter how great our guys are or how well they know us they do not always know what is wrong or have the ability to decipher our moods correctly. Instead we wives need to become better at expressing our feelings to them.” This is so true! When I’m upset, I make a habit to keep my acidic thoughts to myself until I can sort through them and communicate reasonably what’s actually going on. And then I think it’s important to explain what solution need to work towards (if we know what that might be). Focusing on truth and doing what’s right is always better than focusing on our discontent.
I agree with Natalie, it is so important to think through your thoughts and gather them properly so you don’t ever explode or speak irrationally. I constantly try to improve my communication style and think through things and always think about the BIG PICTURE!
I am right there with you, Pam! I am a work in progress when it comes to communication!