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I believe with my whole heart that couples can improve their marriages majorly by this. It is 1 simple test every couple should take. It does not require any studying. It does not require you to write an essay. It requires little effort, really. Yet, the results can be life changing! It can change your marriage for the better!
Ryan and I took this test early on in our dating and I truly believe it helped set the foundation for our relationship- dating and marriage, both. The test took us about ten minutes for us to complete. However, when we looked at the results we both were a bit surprised. If we ourselves would have tried to guess the outcome we would have been way off. Therefore, we were even more glad that we took the time to find out the results. This one simple test is really one that every couple should take!
The simple test every couple should take is…..The 5 Love Languages
Dr. Gary Chapman was counseling a lot of couples who talked about feeling unloved. After visiting with many couples he came to conclude that people felt loved in a primary way which tends to fall into one of five categories. These five categories became known as the 5 Love Languages.
There are three ways to take the 5 Love Language test. All of which are pretty simple to do!
The 5 Love Languages consist of:
* Words of Affirmation * Quality Time * Physical Touch * Acts of Service * Receiving Gifts *
The thing that Chapman notes is we often try to show love in the same way we like to receive it. Which usually is not the same way our spouse feels loved. In return this makes our mate feel unloved all together.
When Ryan and I took this test we realized what we guessed each others Love Language was really was not their primary Love Language
Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages before?
Until Next Time- Truly Love,
Cassie
Hubs and i recently just retook this test last week!! It’s a great resource and the results were a surprise!
Bijee- There is debate with different people on if they think your Love Language can change or not. After taking the test again did you find that you or your husband’s primary Love Language had changed?
My husband and I took the test when we started dating 7 years ago we recently retook the test and both of our primaries had switched. When talking with members of our Church, they stated that as you grow older and hit different stages in life, your needs will change. We plan on redoing it every few years now.
I am right there with you, Megan! I actually did a post a long time ago on Can Our Love Language Change? I believe I remember reading on Gary’s site that he said he believes that our primary Love Language doesn’t “change” others just become more “attractive” based on circumstances. It’s all in the vocabulary used around that one 😉 But that is great you two have committed checking back in with it every few years! I think knowing your spouse’s Love Language is the biggest asset to a marriage!
Agreed, once I learned his love language I new how to make him happier and he knew what made me tick as well!
Isn’t it crazy how something that takes such little effort and energy to do (taking the quiz) can make such a big difference?
Cassie, thanks for the reminder. I plan to read this book later this year. Its a must read for couples.
That is great Marcus! Please let me know what you think about it.
In the same boat – after hearing the idea years ago we never actually read the book until my wife got it a few weeks ago. Well worth it!
I am glad that you and your wife got around to reading it! It is an amazing concept that really does make a big difference. Was your Love Languages different than what you thought they were?
I’ve heard about this book for years – from friends, clients, bloggers – and have been MEANING to check it out. I finally bought it recently when I was purchasing several other books for research. Thanks for reminder to get it out and actually READ it – I’m looking forward to it!
Oh, Shel, please tell me how you like it! I think it is for sure an amazing book. Martial issues primarily can be boiled down to the fact that people don’t know their spouses Love Language and are not speaking it.