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Emma Merkas is an Australian relationships and marriage writer and the co-founder of Melt: Massage for Couples, a beautiful online video series that teaches couples the secrets to an amazing massage. She has been married to her business partner Denis for five years, together for ten. She is here today to share how to make the most of the Physical Touch Love Language.
My primary Love Language is Physical Touch. I’m married to an Acts of Service man. Understanding each other took awhile when we first got together, but 10 years on, we’ve found our groove when it comes to our Love Languages.
I now know cooking him a three-course meal will make his heart soar. He knows that I love (nay, need) to cuddle up next to him on the couch while watching movies instead of sitting two chairs over.
The Physical Touch Love Language can be a daunting one for non-native speakers of it. After all, it requires your absolute presence and attention to fulfil.
But don’t despair. Here are four creative ways you can make your sweetie melt, if you know their primary language is Physical Touch. Try one today and see what happens.
1. Spoon them in bed
My husband is up and about very early in the day; I prefer to sleep a little later. This means that on the rare weekend occasion I wake up to find him next to me, I am instantly blissed out.
Next time you have a sleep in with your Physical Touch spouse, cuddle up to them and give them a little nuzzle in the back of their neck for a good 10-15 minutes. You’ll start their day on a high!
2. Try a 15 second kiss
Remember the days when you first got together and you could spend hours making out? I bet you don’t do that much anymore. Kissing is a great way for couples to check in with each other; women in particular use scores of non-verbal cues in a single kiss to assess where their relationship is at. It’s that important.
15 seconds doesn’t sound like a long time, but once you’re in the throes of a kiss you’ll realise it passes more slowly than you think. You can’t just “dead fish” a 15 second kiss. You need to put some effort in.
Take your Physical Touch spouse, press them against a wall for a lingering kiss and watch them swoon.
3. Sit next to them at dinner
Next time you take your spouse out for dinner, find a venue that has cozy booths and sit on the same side of the table, right up next to each other. Here, you can spoil your partner with shoulder-to-shoulder contact, hand-holding and even the occasional cheeky thigh squeeze. Watch them light up as you slide into the booth next to them. I promise.
4. Give them a back rub
Treating your spouse to a lovely 15-minute massage can change their entire day. Sit them down, apply some massage oil and soothe the knots from their shoulders and back with a loving massage. Extra points if you light some candles and play soft music for the occasion!
If you aren’t sure what you should be doing with your hands, you can learn to massage online with Melt: Massage for Couples (full disclosure: I do own this product).
It’s easy once you know how and by the end you’ll be able to get through a good 30 minutes without a sore hand in sight. This is actually an excellent gift for anyone who with a Physical Touch Love Language – many nights of touch-feely entertainment can be had!
What’s your favorite way to “speak” Physical Touch with your spouse?
Note From Cassie: I did a review on the Melt: Massage for Couples and thought it was AMAZING!