Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering through these links may result in a commission, which helps pay for the cost of running this site and keeps the content free.
We hear all the time that communication is about talking and listening. That makes sense. When I think about being intentional about listening I think about things like: being focused on Ryan, looking directly at him and not letting my brain spin about all my to do’s. Oh, and not interrupting! That has always seemed like a big enough task for me! If I accomplish those things I feel like I am truly listening to Ryan.
This past weekend Ryan and I were at a training we have been doing. They mentioned something about listening that I had not thought about before. The guy speaking made the comment something to the effect of this:
Truly listening is making sure the other person understands that you understand what they said.
Wow. Okay, well I had never thought about it in that way before. So I began thinking how do I make sure Ryan knows that I understand what he is saying. Here are some things that came to mind:
- Repeat what he said in my own words. Then, ask if I understood correctly.
- Ask a question about more details of what he was talking about.
- Say, “Did I catch what you were saying right? You feel/want/need/etc….”
- Make statements like, “I heard you say…”
Making sure the person we are listening to understands that we understand what they have expressed is truly listening. What a new way of thinking about communication and listening.
What is a way you ensure they know you understand what they have shared?
Until Next Time- Truly Love,
Cassie
Those are all very good ways to show you’re listening. I like to ask follow-up questions, even if I’m not necessarily too interested in the actual answer just so my friends and family know they are heard and they matter to me!