Marriage Works!: Healthy Marriage Resources

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When Ryan and I first started True Agape we were looking for other healthy marriage resources. For us to learn from, but also so that we could share with you! We came across Marriage Works! We have shared some of their resources on occasion with you. However, I wanted to make sure to bring them to your attention as they are a wonderful resource to have.

Kevin & Cetelia Bullard, the founders of Marriage Works! have now been married just over 14 years. They both grew up seeing a lot of different ideas of what marriage was. Quite frankly, I don’t think they liked what they saw. They were determined to make their marriage something different than they grew up seeing. And then there was Marriage Works!

The Marriage Works! website is full of healthy marriage resources. There are articles on their blog. You can find ebooks. They even provide coaching! To help you get to know Kevin, Cetelia and Marriage Works! a little better I asked Kevin to answer a few questions for us.

The mission of Marriage Works! is to help grow healthy and functional marriages. What do you think are some of the most important traits in a marriage to aid in that?

I believe some of the most important traits that aid a healthy marriage include forgiveness, having a vision as a couple, parenting well together (especially in a remarriage), giving grace & space, and speaking one another’s love language. Marriage is not easy because both spouses typically see the world differently, and if that wasn’t enough, are always changing. While these traits are essential, they only gain power when both spouses make a conscious decision to give their best to one another and the relationship – especially when things are not going well.

On your “About Us” page you mention several facts about your families struggling with marriage. What did you learn about marriage from being raised in those situations?

Oddly enough, I didn’t know my parents (nor other family members) were having problems when I was a kid. To their credit, they did a great job shielding my brother and me from their problems. As I reflect on those marriages, I can see how the marriages slowly began to unravel. Some of the couples didn’t spend a lot of time together, some argued a lot, and others just weren’t very loving. There is one couple in my family that has stayed married  for 35 years in the midst of broken relationships. They spend time together, make decision together, have been faithful to one another, have kept Christ first in their life, and seek to please one another. I look to their marriage for inspiration, and hold them up as a success in my family.

 Describe one lesson you have learned from your own marriage that you bring to Marriage Works! in hopes that it will help others.

Without a doubt, it would be personal accountability. I commonly tell spouses that God will hold them accountable for what they do, not what their spouse does. I’ve had multiple opportunities over the years to “blame” Cetelia for things that bothered me. More times than not, however, I come back to the realization that I am always in control of my attitude, and how I treat her – regardless of how I feel she is or is not doing her part.  I truly believe that when spouses do their part, by God’s grace, and let God handle their mate, the marriage will go better.

What is the best part about serving though Marriage Works!?

This is a question I’ve never been asked, and it’s a good one. The best part of serving through Marriage Works! is knowing that another couple has made it through a dark period, and is heading towards a brighter future. It’s sometimes difficult to know the impact we’re having since so much of what we do is web-based. Still, the occasional email or post from a husband or wife letting us know that their marriage has been helped is very rewarding.

Tell us what your favorite marriage resource is.

There are many wonderful marriage resources available for couples. My favorite resource by far is the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I appreciate three things about the resource: it’s 1) simple to administer, 2) simple to understand, 3) universally applicable. I use the resource for couples across the relationship lifespan: newlywed, first marriage, and remarriage.

I have observed that we all want to feel loved, and when we don’t, we are tempted to look for it in places where we should not. Speaking our mate’s love language is a way to validate our mate, and create an emotional connection that will give the marriage life.

And there you have it! Now you know a little bit more about Marriage Works! Head on over to Marriage Works! Facebook page for healthy marriage resources and inspiration!

Until Next Time- Truly Love,

Cassie