True Agape

Nurturing Unconditional Love

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I’m Already in Bed and You Want Me to Do What?

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Saturday evening I was tired and ready to wrap up the evening. I knew the next day would be a long day. The alarm was set for 3:30 a.m and then a two hour drive was ahead of us. Why would a person get up that early on a Sunday you may be asking. Well for a race of course! Ryan would be participating in a duathlon.

I am laying in bed reading while Ryan is packing his things up for the race. It was already a little later than when we usually go to bed. I don’t like turning off the lights and getting all settled if Ryan is not in bed with me. I like to fall asleep with my husband! Rarely is he not in bed by the time I am ready to turn out the lights. He usually is the one waiting for me to finish up the chapter in my book. But tonight as Ryan got in the shower I clicked off the lights.

The water is running in the shower and I hear that as I start to drift off. Then, all the sudden moments later the water shuts off. I think, “That might have been his fastest shower ever! He must be ready for bed too.” A moment later Ryan comes in the room and whispers, “Babe?” to see if I was still awake. I open my eyes and smile at him. He then says, “I forgot to shave my head….” (which he does before the shower so he can wash all the hair off).

Ryan keeps his hair pretty short, but as it grows out he can tell how it keeps him warmer. With it being the summer he likes to shave it before races. On race day it provides some relief as he trains in the heat with “longer” hair, then on race day he has a nice little breeze on his head. Earlier in the day he mentioned he was going to shave it that day, but we both got busy with other tasks. Shaving his head is definitely a task that I must help him with as he can’t quite get the back- haha!

So there I am in bed, drifting asleep, without my husband in bed next to me, later than usual and he wants me to get up and help him shave his head! Several thoughts run through my head in a matter of 3 seconds. “Really?!” “But I’m tired.” “Why could we have not done this earlier?” along with some other negative, whining thoughts. Then, it switched over to: “It won’t really take that long.” “We can’t do it in the morning- we are already getting up at 3:30!” “I know it helps out there in that heat.” “Do this act of service lovingly.”  I then tease him by telling him he better be glad I love him.

Ryan promises he will be fast. He goes into the bathroom to do the part he can do as I still lay there in bed. As I start to drift off to sleep again I here the questioning, “Babe?” I automatically respond with “Ya?” And then he says that he is ready for me to come help. I suddenly wake up and remember what is going on. When I walk into the bathroom I waited a moment to let me eyes adjust- I mean I didn’t want to shave an eye brown off or anything! (See picture above for his greatly shaved head (not eyebrows) at the race!)

Ryan could have blamed me for getting busy, I could have blamed him for not doing it sooner, he could have blamed me for not reminding him and so many others. Situations like these are the ones I am thankful for. Where both of us are understanding and neither of us blame.

Today try to understand situations for what they are rather than figuring out whose “fault” it is. Instead of blaming show understanding.

When is a time you have shown understanding? Share your story below!

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