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The topic of being a nagging wife -or trying not to be a nagging wife is a better way to put it- has been on my mind lately. I am reading a book For Women Only (read my review here) that touched on the topic which has allowed me to put some strategies into play. Then, today I ran into a post entitled “To Nag or Not to Nag?”. Therefore, today I am sharing some thoughts about the topic of nagging wives and to answer how to know if “are you a nagging wife.”
Nagging is something I realized I have to be cautious about in my relationship due to my personality. I know that there are two areas that I could very easily start becoming a nagging wife in: organization and the to-do list. I am an organized person and I constantly work to get things checked off the to-do list
Ryan and I are very different in our level of organization. I have a place for everything and it goes there for a reason. Ryan knows where all of his things are they just may not be in what I think is the most practical place. I mean, come on if you remember the receipt post, you know what I am talking about. Early on Ryan picked up on the tidiness and how it starts to overwhelm me if things are not tidy. I do have to give him credit at working so diligently at this!
The other day we picked up some of Ryan’s stuff from his mom’s house. As we are loading it in the vehicles I am thinking, “Man, the house just now got all unpacked and now this is all going to be sitting there needing to be unpacked.” A few days went by and the boxes were not touched. I had a few urges to go start unpacking it for Ryan. Then, decided against it. I didn’t want him to feel like I was invading his stuff, but then again I really just didn’t want to unpack it. I also had a few urges to ask Ryan when he was going to start putting away those things. However, I did not do that either.
Randomly, one day Ryan goes in there and gets to work! He got about half of it done in one sitting- without me even saying a word about it! Something the book, For Women Only , points out is our husbands are not doing the task for a reason. They may be mentally or physically exhausted from the day and that one thing could be the breaking point. Come on ladies we have all been there before!
Let’s look a little closer at what nagging really means.
Nagging according to Merriam-Webster:
1: to be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction
2: to irritate by constant scolding or urging
3: Badger, Worry
A couple of thoughts came to mind after reading the definition of nagging. 1: I never want my husband to consider me an annoyance. An annoyance is the clock ticking while you’re trying to think or the fan humming while you are trying to sleep. Never do I want my husband to categorize me with those things! 2: When I hear “scolding” I think of an adult scolding a child and the child putting their head down with sadness. I never want my husband to feel that I am scolding him. 3. If I am nagging, that means I am worrying. I have better things to worry about in this life than a pile of cloths or an unpacked box!
I say all of that to say this: try to start looking at the situation a little differently, rather than being a nagging wife. I am working on this continually! The task may not get done in what we consider a timely matter, but in reality the task probably isn’t life or death like we sometimes act like it is. We must except that even though we may not know or even understand why our husband has not done that task yet, we need to have faith in our husbands. We need to trust our man!
I know that biting our tongue when we want to “friendly remind” our husband to do something is hard. It will create an internal conflict for some. However, I challenge you to be a nag free wife for a week and see if your husband’s attitude changes!
What is a skill that you have learned to use when you feel the need to nag?
Until Next Time- Truly Love,