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A friend of mine got me a year subscription to Parent’s Magazine as a random act of kindness once she found out we were pregnant. I have been enjoying reading them monthly and learning new things. In July’s issue there is an article called, “Are you naggravating?” This article popped out to me right away since True Agape gets found quite often for our nagging blog posts.
Therefore, I thought I would share 7 tips this article gave to stop your nagging and to become a team!
1) Remember the big picture– This is the man you chose to be with for the rest of your life. People can do things differently and that is okay. Remember to use phrases like “will you” “could you” “can you” instead of demanding.
2) Hold your temper- If he hasn’t done something you have asked him to several times make sure you are calm before discussing the issue.
3) Consider waiting- Ask him to do things when he is most receptive. This decreases the amounts of times you need to ask.
4) Focus on what you’d like to happen– Instead of saying, “You need to help me more.” Say, “Can you please help me put away the dirty dishes after dinner?”
5) Spotlight progress- Think praise instead of criticism. Thank him and let it be known you appreciate when he helps out.
6) If it is not working do something different- Try different strategies such as an app where you both can add to the list. If that doesn’t work try a to-do list, emails or sticky notes. Discuss and use what works best for you and your man. A simple shift in the way you let him know you need his help can change the way he deals with it.
7) Bite the bullet- Sometimes we just have to realize our men are not ignoring us intentionally. They may not deem the to-do as important as us. Therefore, it doesn’t get done as quickly as we like. Or maybe the thing he does is a part of his personality and we can just accept it rather than nag him about it. Occasionally we must remember #1 and just bite the bullet as they say.
In previous posts about nagging I have shared that with my personality it is very easy to become a nagger. It is something I must intentionally make sure I do not do. Something I find very interesting is a lot of times people find our nagging posts by search terms such as “nagging wife” or “my wife nags.” Ladies, I truly believe this is an issue that effects marriages, our own marriages, yet sometimes we don’t even see it! Take a real honest look at your marriage and yourself to ask, “Do I nag?” If the answer is yes, use these strategies above to start making a change!
*You can subscribe or download a digital version of Parents Magazine.
I can’t be alone…What do you nag the most often about?
Until Next Time- Truly Love,
Cassie
Definitely remember the big picture, I’ve learned throughout the years that it’s often best to just keep quiet because it really doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have to do something the way I like to do something haha.
So true Mia. Two people can do something completely differently yet still end at the same results! Some things do need to be discussed, but others like the article said we just need to bite the bullet.
I know I’m often a nagger. But I’m becoming more and more aware of when I’m doing it, and I’m slowly but surely changing my habits and behavior. I know that I don’t want to be this way, and it’s not productive when I am, so I’m working on it!
Laura I think for some of us it will always be something we work on! I know when things get more hectic or the to do list grows I can fall back to more nagging just because I want to get stuff done off the list and such. I have had to be careful with this during our pregnancy especially here at the end. The first thing is to recognize it though so we can work on it! Way to work on changing for the positive!
Definitely hard to remind myself not to nag about things. I nag about bigger things like starting a retirement account and saving money versus around the house stuff because my husband is pretty darn good about that handyman and cleaning stuff.
That is great Pam that your guy does well around the house and you don’t feel the need to nag. I do understand about the bigger stuff though! We finally got term life insurance that we have been discussing getting for the past year. We finally got close enough to baby coming that we got it done! Sometimes talking and setting a deadline for it helps us!
I used to be more of a nagger than I am, thankfully, now, Cassie. I think I finally woke up to the fact that nagging doesn’t work! In fact, it often back-fired in my marriage, because it would start a fight or my husband would dig his heals in and resist my negatively veiled request. I also think nagging is about blaming or shaming the other person. No one responds well to that! I love your points here. They are very practical and helpful. Oh, and I didn’t know you are expecting! Congrats on that, my friend!
Beth,
With my personality it is easy to fall back into nagging. So it is something that I work on. I do feel like I have gotten better, but when times get busy or my to do gets long I must watch my self more carefully!
We are now less than 3 weeks away from our due date! So it is exciting times for sure!