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Kimberly Campbell is a creative and blogger who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband and 2 preschoolers. She has been blogging more than a decade over at kcreatives. She now fills her days with potty training, calligraphy, photography, and eating tacos with her husband while watching Netflix. She has written some prayer journals for wives to pray for their husbands. She loves encouraging other women with the truth of the Gospel and how grace invades our lives and relationships.
My Daddy always told me that one of the biggest contributors to divorces is arguments about money. Whether it is because there is too much money or not enough money, money can do some damage to a couple’s relational, spiritual, and physical success in their marriage. In the 5 years my husband and I have been married, we’ve had to navigate some tough circumstances regarding our finances. I would love to share with you a few of the secrets we have learned that I hope will encourage you not to give up on your finances or your marriage.
Communication is crucial. I don’t know if this is necessarily a secret, but most people don’t do it well, and it’s hard because finances are a sticky subject. I was in my mid-thirties when I finally married, and I had not been good at personal finance up until then. I had poor credit and was just starting to get myself out of the hole. One of the traits I wanted in a husband was a man who was good at finances and could run our family budget. I definitely got a man who trusted God with our finances and worked hard to provide for us.
When we entered into marriage, we had two full-time incomes, We were both in ministry. Shortly after we got married, I got pregnant, and it was a doozy. Writing deadlines didn’t cooperate with morning (or all-day) sickness. But, with quitting my job, we lost income.
My husband made plenty for us to live on, but we didn’t have the extra that we had before, so we had to sit down and actually figure out a budget. We wanted to be able to live, give, and save. We had to communicate with each other about what was important to us and where we wanted to be and what we wanted to give away – to live a generous life as a new couple. And then kids were coming, too! That adds a whole new element of stress.
Work to always be on the same page. Communication about finances isn’t enough. You need to work to be on the same page. We have talked about credit cards, saving for vacations and bigger ticket items, and how much to give away. We’ve had to talk for hours about a budget, and we even have an ongoing wishlist. See, not only did we go from two incomes to one in 5 years, we’ve also gone from a salaried income to an income based on commission. That rocked my world.
We’ve had to trust God immensely in these last three years. Not knowing how we would make ends meet, but trusting that He would provide for all of our needs, which He has promised He will always do.
Be supportive. One of the truths about men that I learned before I got married is that men have a lot riding on their success. They get a lot of their self-esteem and worth from how successful they are at work. When my husband feels confident in his suit and has a good run at selling pianos, or has just come off a successful choir concert (he leads the choir at our church), then you can see his boost in everything he does.
One thing we can do as wives is support our husbands in their work. If we are stay at home mom’s then we can use our time and resources wisely. Our husbands provide the money and we need to use that money wisely. I need to work on this in the area of food and eating out – which is a big budget line in our home.
Pray. Yes this is definitely the most important. We pray constantly for provision. We pray constantly that my husband would be successful and talk to the right people. We pray that God would stretch our finances. We’ve had amazing answers to prayers this last year. I think that is my biggest takeaway from 2016.
God is in charge of the universe. He brought you and your husband together. And you know what, He knows full well what your bank account has in it, or how much you owe on that credit card. And He will work to always provide for your needs. He has promised. And He is faithful.
As we go forward in 2017, how can you talk more about finances in your marriage?