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I’m Hillary, and I’m so happy to guest post here at True Agape today! I normally tell stories over at 918 Plate, a local food blog, so naturally I’m talking about food here, too.
Even though I love cooking and operate a food blog, my husband still helps me in the kitchen all the time. He’s often my designated “chopper.” I’m here to share with you my experiences with cooking with my spouse, and how I’ve found that two isn’t a crowd in the kitchen.
Great reasons to cook together:
1. You’re Accomplishing Common Goals.
Sometimes, it’s hard to feel like you and your spouse are “on the same page.” My husband is currently in medical school, and I work at an oil company. What we do for the majority of our days could not be more different! He’s learning about the blood and guts – the ins and the outs of the human body. I learn about things like company policies and royalty interests. After a long day of being apart, it is nice to come home and do something together. Cooking together results in a finished product that we both helped create and unites us under a common accomplishment, even when we sometimes feel like our daytime lives are leading us down paths that the other cannot join. Common ground is important to maintain in a marriage, especially as we age and change. Even something as simple as feeling proud of your soufflé or having a laugh about a dud recipe can help you remember why you liked each other in the first place.
2. It Helps Open Lines of Communication
Good kitchen communication often comes from using the phrases “How can I help?” or “What needs to happen now?” However, that’s not always what happens! Sometimes, one person reads the recipe and the other doesn’t. It often results in something being mixed it at the wrong time, or the educated person being the dinner “director.” This can also happen in our marriages in other areas. Cooking together is a great chance to practice transparency and communication, so that it is easier to approach the future without feeling like one person is “managing” the marriage and the other person is simply along for the ride. In my experience, the “good kitchen communication phrases” have also expanded into other areas of our lives, and helps direct our actions and words. When someone is feeling sick or down, asking if and how you can be of assistance is a great way to foster non-confrontational, natural conversations about needs and wants.
3. It’s an Opportunity to Serve
Finally, cooking together at home allows you the chance to serve your spouse. If you aren’t normally the dinner time chef, it’s a great way to be helpful. Volunteer to be the chopper. Or the stirrer. Or whatever power they’ll turn over (it’s hard for me sometimes to get out of the “my” kitchen mentality!). Tell them you’ll do the dishes tonight…All of them. Serving your spouse is not only honorable, but is also key in marriage, especially if it’s your Love Language. It draws out genuine gratitude and appreciation, which can often make you realize really just how much you LOVE your spouse. My husband is wonderful about doing the dishes (he actually likes it), and acts of service is his favorite love language to gift to others. Even though it’s normal for him to do them, I always remember to express my gratitude towards his actions so that we don’t create expectations in our marriage. He is doing it because he knows it’s how I feel best loved after I put in the effort for dinner.
The two of us make a great team in the kitchen. And you can too, but some couples may require more work than others! As you learn to work together and love each other better, it will come easier and become a beneficial and fun activity for you to enJOY together!
What is a reason you feel couples should cook together?