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Four days into knowing Ryan we were sitting there talking about our future plans and dreams. Ryan’s dream was to become a professional triathlete and inspirational speaker, along with having a wife that would fully support that dream and be the primary care taker of their many children. I shared that my dream was to be an awesome teacher that tucked all her school children under her wing as her own.
Ryan’s dream of becoming a professional triathlete and speaker was amazing to hear. It sounded like a huge goal to me as I had no idea what it would take to do either, but also I did not know Ryan that well either. Does this guy have the heart, determination, and skill to be able to do these things? Either way it would be a lot of hard work and a journey ahead.
With each passing day as we spent time together and I got to know him I became more confident in his dream. I started to see how far he had come and what he was doing to improve. Then, at some point it was no longer “his dream” that I was referring to it was “our dream”.
Last night as we were chatting with someone it hit me how important it is to have “our dream” in our marriages. Sometimes I think people go into marriage with each of their dreams and the other spouse is supportive, but it is their spouses dream. When it is our spouses dream we are only there to give our spouse support and encouragement. However, when the dream becomes “our dream” it becomes a whole new playing field. Not only are you their for support and encouragement, but important decisions will be made to support the dream, and both parties will put all efforts towards the dream.
For something to be “our dream” both parties truly have to want it, truly have to be okay with it, and truly have to own it. If you can not do those three things serious conversations need to take place or else major issues that will hold you/your spouse back from the dream will take place. Which will likely cause marriage strains if your spouse is sincere about the dream.
When we talk about our dream it makes me so excited! It makes me day dream about how it will be. It makes me want to work harder to take steps to get there faster! I can only imagine when we will have conversations about us currently doing our dream instead of conversations of when we do our dream!
What is the “our dream” in your marriage?