What No One Told You About Physical Touch

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A hot topic here on True Agape is The 5 Love Languages and the one that readers seem to want to know the most about is Physical Touch. I did a post explaining Physical Touch and had a guest blogger write about 4 creative ways to incorporate Physical Touch, but people are still wanting more information about Physical Touch. There are a lot of things that surround physical touch that can make it a difficult Love Language to express.

In some homes touch is not something that is done often. Or it is even thought to be a negative thing. Some consider hugging weak. Other’s feel if they let people in by touching them they are vulnerable. Men and women have built walls where they think they don’t need people to touch them. Some have experienced hurt and pain from someone that they allowed to touch them. The list could go on and on. The point is there are a TON of conflicting thoughts and beliefs when it comes to Physical Touch.

The great news is we can move past all those things that hold us back. We get to decide if we will give love in the way those around us want it. We get to decide to accept love in the way we enjoy receiving it, no matter our past. These things can be done by simply understanding the Love Language of Physical Touch a little better.

What no one told you about Physical Touch

• It’s not sexual- The Love Language of Physical Touch simply means the person feels loved by hugs, a pat on the back, high fives, caressing their arm- just any kind of contact. Just because someone wants to be touched or touches you does not mean they are looking to get sexual pleasure out of it. Now, don’t get me wrong it does work the other way. If we are in an intimate relationship we obviously get sexual pleasure from touch. But even for those we are in intimate relationships with it does not mean every time we touch them or they touch us they are thinking about sex.
• Gender shouldn’t be an issue- If your husband’s, dad’s, brother’s, or uncle’s Love Language is Physical Touch you should express that love freely with hugs, kisses on the cheek and other touches. Or if you receive love by Physical Touch let those men show you love as well. Opposite genders should be able to express love in a mature way using Physical Touch without it being an issue.
• Do it anyways- Physical Touch sometimes makes people feel so uncomfortable that they just avoid it. They only touch others minimally or even avoid it altogether. No matter how awkward it is for you, if you have someone close to you whose primary Love Language is touch, you need to just do it anyways. The Love Languages are just like any other foreign language: it must be practiced to get more comfortable with it and to speak it more fluently. Touching your loved ones might seem weird at first, but with practice it gets easier and more natural.
• Start small if need be- If this Love Language is completely out of our comfort zone it is totally okay to start small. No need to go from ten feet between you and everyone else to constantly holding everyone’s hands. Instead start with smaller actions like handshakes, high fives and pats. Then, work your way up to neck rubs, hugs and kisses.

Now that I have shared four things that no one told you about the Love Language of Physical touch I hope you have a better understanding of how to get past issues you are having with it. If you are wondering if anyone close to you has the primary Love Language of Physical Touch there are three ways to find out. If you know someone you love has the main Love Language of touch, yet after reading this you still are not sure how you can go about speaking love to them you might want to check out this 5 Love Language Webinar.

What is something else others should know about Physical Touch?

Until Next Time- Truly Love,

Cassie