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Connecting with each other in some way on a daily basis is a must to keep a marriage healthy and strong. Connecting for each couple may look completely different and that is okay. The important thing is that you make it a priority for when it best fits for your relationship.
A lot of couple and families choose to connect on Sundays. For Ryan and I that doesn’t work right now. We go to early church service at 8:30am. Ryan leaves from there to complete his two hour run. He returns home to eat lunch, maybe take a nap, and get a few things prepared for the week. Then, at about 3:30 he is headed to the gym for a swim. Once he gets home we are having dinner and getting Miss M ready for bed. Trying to fit time to connect on Sundays beyond our typical dinner together would only cause stress.
Let’s take a look at some ways to choose the best time to connect:
Consider Schedules- Like I mentioned above, our Sunday schedule just doesn’t allow for that connection time. Take into consideration if there are days where one of you has to work late or if there are extra tasks to be done that day that may not allow as much time.
Consider Time- This relates to schedules as well. But consider how much time you want and need to be able to feel like the two of you connected. If you have 30 minutes, but know you would prefer an hour time slot to connect, consider a different day or time to connect that allows you that hour. You don’t want to leave feeling like you got cheated from your connection time.
Consider Mental States- Try to connect on a day or time frame that the both of you still have mental capacity to spare. It is hard to connect if your minds are wondering or there is a lack of focus because of mental fatigue. This means morning coffee together or a lunch break call might work better if at the end of the day you are exhausted.
Consider Attitudes- Let’s face it sometimes we don’t have the best attitudes. Be that we are tired because our baby woke up several times during the night or because it was a long day at work. It is hard to connect when we are short and snippy. Personally, for me late at night is not the best option because of this.
Early on Ryan and I decided we would work our schedules so that we could eat dinner together every night. Sometimes that means eating at a different time than normal, but that allows us to connect daily. Additional connection time tends to vary for us throughout different seasons of training and racing. Currently, we have been doing a little extra connecting Monday nights after dinner. Ryan returns home from work to go straight on the bike. He hops off the bike and gets on a weekly call. Then, it is dinner time and then connection time. We talk about the call. We talk about our intentions for the week. We discuss how we are doing on reaching certain goals. And we dream and plan about our future.
I cannot stress enough the importance of choosing the best time to connect. Choosing a time that fits into our schedules, where we have enough time and we have the right mind set and attitude is vital to our marriages!
What is something you have to keep in mind when planning time to connect?
Until Next Time-Truly Love,