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Connecting with each other in some way on a daily basis is a must to keep a marriage healthy and strong. Connecting for each couple may look completely different and that is okay. The important thing is that you make it a priority for when it best fits for your relationship.
A lot of couple and families choose to connect on Sundays. For Ryan and I that doesn’t work right now. We go to early church service at 8:30am. Ryan leaves from there to complete his two hour run. He returns home to eat lunch, maybe take a nap, and get a few things prepared for the week. Then, at about 3:30 he is headed to the gym for a swim. Once he gets home we are having dinner and getting Miss M ready for bed. Trying to fit time to connect on Sundays beyond our typical dinner together would only cause stress.
Let’s take a look at some ways to choose the best time to connect:
Consider Schedules- Like I mentioned above, our Sunday schedule just doesn’t allow for that connection time. Take into consideration if there are days where one of you has to work late or if there are extra tasks to be done that day that may not allow as much time.
Consider Time- This relates to schedules as well. But consider how much time you want and need to be able to feel like the two of you connected. If you have 30 minutes, but know you would prefer an hour time slot to connect, consider a different day or time to connect that allows you that hour. You don’t want to leave feeling like you got cheated from your connection time.
Consider Mental States- Try to connect on a day or time frame that the both of you still have mental capacity to spare. It is hard to connect if your minds are wondering or there is a lack of focus because of mental fatigue. This means morning coffee together or a lunch break call might work better if at the end of the day you are exhausted.
Consider Attitudes- Let’s face it sometimes we don’t have the best attitudes. Be that we are tired because our baby woke up several times during the night or because it was a long day at work. It is hard to connect when we are short and snippy. Personally, for me late at night is not the best option because of this.
Early on Ryan and I decided we would work our schedules so that we could eat dinner together every night. Sometimes that means eating at a different time than normal, but that allows us to connect daily. Additional connection time tends to vary for us throughout different seasons of training and racing. Currently, we have been doing a little extra connecting Monday nights after dinner. Ryan returns home from work to go straight on the bike. He hops off the bike and gets on a weekly call. Then, it is dinner time and then connection time. We talk about the call. We talk about our intentions for the week. We discuss how we are doing on reaching certain goals. And we dream and plan about our future.
I cannot stress enough the importance of choosing the best time to connect. Choosing a time that fits into our schedules, where we have enough time and we have the right mind set and attitude is vital to our marriages!
What is something you have to keep in mind when planning time to connect?
Until Next Time-Truly Love,
Cassie
This is great and i love the intentionality of it. Hubs and i need to work on that. There is so much to get done in so little time and we stay busy. We don’t have set time but we do at least make the time. We both can tell when we are disconnected if it teaches that point…
Thanks for linking for #mondaymotivation !
I understand you there, Bijee! About being busy and always something to do. For me personally, since my primary Love Language is Quality Time, if we don’t make time to connect regularly I feel like I am running around with my head chopped off. And I start to wonder why I am even doing all those to do’s. Us connecting and talking about our goals keep me focused on the big picture and reminds me why I am doing what I am.
Connection time is so important, Cassie! I’m glad you’re tackling this subject and give us some “handles” to grab hold of and use for better ways to connect. My husband and I have a once a week “talk time” that we keep religiously and have for many years. That’s one night a week where we just decompress, chat and share our hearts. It’s not a time to argue or even work through a disagreement. We arrange those times spontaneously. But we also try to set aside time each day to connect, like it sounds that you and Ryan do. What a great habit to begin and to strengthen in early marriage. If my husband had done this from the beginning, it would have been a lot less messy! Thanks for the challenges, my friend! And I will get back with you about your email. I’ve just have a busy couple of days! (But, whew, tonight is “talk time” with the hubs! Woo hoo!) 😉
That is great, Beth, that you and your husband have time set aside each week to just talk. That for sure helps make sure you two connect even when things are busy! Look forward to your email. I know you are a busy lady 🙂 I hope you enjoyed your talk time last night!
This is all so true. I’ve seen how choosing the wrong time can backfire and cause upsetment for no reason except that the timing was off. It’s important to be sure the mood is right too. If things are not going great for one of you that day/time perhaps being flexible to reschedule the connection time is important too.
That is so true, Pam. Being flexable on when you connect is great too. With us traveling extra this first half of the year it is something that we are having to keep in mind. Traveling can change schedules. And I know if it is late/I am tired it is probably not a time to discuss anything of importance or that requires much thinking!