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Some time has passed since you said, “I do.” There have been some great times and some not so great times. Then, there might come a time where you feel like your marriage is stuck. Maybe because you or your husband made a choice that wasn’t the best for your marriage, maybe because you wonder if you married the right person, or maybe just because you feel bored.
For me, I feel like my marriage gets stuck primarily in two ways. One is when we have a strict routine maybe because of training season or even during the off season when we are relaxing more. With either case we get into a routine that is the same and somewhat boring. I want some excitement. I want something different to happen. I want Ryan to show me how much he loves me. The second reason I start feeling like my marriage is stuck is when I start focusing on Ryan in a way that is not uplifting. What he should do better, what I want him to do, where I think he needs to change. That just creates unhappiness and steals the joy from our marriage.
Over the last few months Ryan and I have had opportunities to attend several seminars. They for sure have allowed us to grow as a couple. I previously wrote about the 4 ways to love and growing as a wife and mother which both were inspired by seminars we have attended recently. Today’s post is also inspired by quotes from our seminars. Although none of the seminars have been about marriage specifically, I believe these are some good lessons that can be for our marriages as well.
4 Things to Remember When Your Marriage is Stuck
Complexity is the enemy of execution.
Often times I know there is something Ryan and I should talk about or do to move our marriage forward. But I allow my mind to try to figure out the next 20 steps. I then think about the time, energy and effort it will take. My mind starts to play tricks on me about how hard it is going to be to do which can ultimately make me put it off. Instead, I have to remind myself the benefit of doing the task and take it one step at a time.
Life will pay whatever you ask from it. So ask intelligently.
Some people will debate this quote. But putting aside if you believe it or not, if it were to be true wouldn’t you want to ask for the right things? For sure! I think often times we do not think highly of ourselves or those around us so we don’t go after big things. Instead we need to go after big, amazing, awesome things for our lives and our marriages. Ask for those things intelligently.
Find a team that will challenge you.
In this case a team should be other married couples, or wives, that you can look up to because of their marriages. They should not only be women who strive for excellent marriages, but also women who make you think and ask you the hard questions when it comes to your own marriage. I know this is an area that I need to work on myself. I need to take the time to be engaged in a team like this!
Change is automatic. Progress is not.
Change is a guaranteed thing. Time allows changes to happen in us, in our marriages and in life. But change does not guarantee progress. Change can happen for the worse. Or just neutral change can happen too. But we have to be intentional about making progress while changing. This is something that I need to remember in our marriage. It is inevitable that change will happen, but I must take initiative to make sure that change is progressing our marriage in a positive way.
Never do I want my marriage to feel stuck, but sometimes life circumstances and my emotions makes me feel that way. I am going to make an effort to remember these quotes and put them into action when I feel that my marriage is stuck. Implementing these four concepts will allow me to feel like my marriage is stuck less often!
What do you remember when you feel like your marriage is stuck?
Until Next Time- Truly Love,
Cassie
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