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Has there ever been a time that things escalated with your husband and someone said something they shouldn’t have? Now it’s after the fact and you are thinking, “Why did I not see this coming? We should have taken a time out!” Yes, time outs are for adults too!
As awesome as a Christian women that I try to be I have had times that I have had to call a time out. And that is okay! It is better to call a time out and take the needed break. This allows us to be respectful, thoughtful and keep the devil away when we are weak.
Here are 4 Danger Signs that show there needs to be a time out:
1. Escalation- Responding back and forth negatively with each other
2. Invalidation- Putting down the thoughts, opinions or character of the other
3. Negative Interpretation- Making a negative and unfair assumption about what your partner was thinking
4. Withdrawal- Unwillingness to get into or stay with important discussion
Now we know when to call a time out, but how do we call a time and how does it work?
• Either person can call a time out.
• Together decide on a symbol or word that means timeout.
• Agree that you will respect when a time out is called.
• Say, “I think we need a time out.”
• You have to come back after a time out! No less than 30 minutes but no more than 24 hours.
• If you call the time out you must state when you will come back to finish the discussion.
It is okay to call a time out! Issues have to be discussed openly and safely for a relationship to be healthy. Take the initiative to call a time out if any of these four danger signs start happening!
Have you ever called for a time out for the sake of your marriage?
Inspired by the Forever. For Real. Workbook.
Until Next Time- Truly Love,
Cassie
Love this reminder!! So important and so needed. Yes, we take timeouts. We haven’t said anything we regret so far. But usually our disagreements are just me being ridiculous. 🙂
Chloe we have had timeouts too. Not many, but a few. Sometimes we ladies over think things. It happens. As long as we are open, honest and apologize. And of course learn we are doing ok!
I am definitely a fan of the time out but it has taken a lot of practice for me to stop, breathe and consciously be aware a timeout is needed. Growing up I wish my parents had done this more as seeing them argue to point of yelling was not a good example. It’s a work in progress but I agree an essential part of having a healthy relationship!
For me a time out is called more if I am upset and having a hard time putting my feelings into words. Luckily we don’t raise our voices or fight. But timeouts can be used in several ways! We are all a work in progress Pam!
We’ve definitely called time outs but never put it in those terms. I like to sleep on things though, where my husband likes to communicate about something the second a problem arises. We always make it work though in the end 😉
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Dana that is all that really matters! Working through it together!