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Over the past couple of years of blogging and connecting with couples I have come to realize that speaking the Love Language of Physical Touch can be quite hard! Maybe it was never spoken to them or it makes them feel awkward to speak the language. The thing is if your partners Love Language is Physical Touch and you choose not to speak it you are leaving their love tank empty. And honestly we NEVER want to do that!
Just like with any foreign language we must practice to get better and feel more comfortable. We should not force ourselves to think we have to do a huge amount of Physical Touch RIGHT NOW or our mate will not feel loved. That may only cause more anxiety and actually make us draw further away. But instead it is our job to learn how to speak their Love Language. I put together a 10 day challenge of small actions of Physical Touch to help with this issue.
Make sure you do the one act each day. Over time it will become easier. At first it may feel a little odd and even silly. However, I know that your spouse will feel so loved! As the actions become easier to do you will start finding yourself doing them more often. This will for sure start filling your mates love tank. Take the initiative to make changes, to learn this foreign language. It will make all the difference in your marriage!
If you are needing some addition guidance check out this 5 Love Language Webinar!
Until Next Time- Truly Love,
Cassie
love this! will have to share with my hubby as touch can be a tough one for him
It is hard for many! Practice does make it easier though! Glad you liked it.
I am glad you like it, Beth! Sometimes as bloggers what we write about is just as much for us as it is for the readers. 🙂
I so agree about the importance of touch, Cassie – it’s so bolstering! Your list format would make a cool bookmark/reminder!
Shel- that is a great idea! Thank you!
It’s really the small gestures that mean so much and build our mates up in life and marriage, Cassie. Thanks for this simple but very powerful challenge. I’ll be sharing it!
What a great reminder…it can be easy to get stuck in a rut and forget the little love touches. They can bring new affection without a whole lot of extra time!
So true, Summer. Variety in the kind of touches you share also helps to get out of a rut. I know that ia something I’m working on right now.
This is such a wonderful reminder for how to bring more intimacy into the relationship!
I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!! As someone whose love language is physical touch, I can definitely say that if my husband did even just one of these things without me having to ask, it would absolutely make my day!
I am glad you like it Abigail! Physical touch and quality time are pretty equal for me so I understand you completely! Maybe you could somehow get him to look at this. Even if he doesn’t do the challenge it would give him some good ideas on what he could do to incorporate physical touch!
I wish this could help me. This is my husband’s love language, but unfortunately, he twists it into touch = sex and gets upset if I were to just touch him, or sit next to him, or even if I was able to get lucky enough to kiss him. He hates cuddling and says if nothing comes out of it , then I am just a tease. And yes, we do have sex, although if you ask him it is never often enough and tells me repeatedly “I went to that class with you, this is my love language”……advice??
Hi Jenn-
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing openly about your experience!
This one is a tough one seeing how you went to a class together. But the thing that comes up for me is the Physical Touch may not truly be his Love Language if he does not enjoy cuddles, kisses and touches outside of sexual contact. When taking the 5 Love Language quiz if you over think the questions or want it to turn out a certain way you can for sure manipulate it. So I would be interested to know if/how you took the quiz. Often times, people think men’s need for sex means it is their primary Love Language and that is not the case. Most men feel the need for sex because it allows them to feel wanted, needed, attractive, lets them know they can satisfy their woman, etc. It’s kind of up there along with the need to be respected. It’s a natural thing men want/need to feel loved. BUT that does not mean it is also is primary Love Language if that makes sense. Me initiating sex shows my husband I am attracted to him and want him. He feels good about that. It builds up his masculinity. However, in reality if he is needing his love tank to be filled he is all about Words of Affirmations. That is how he knows I really love him. I hope that makes sense. Honestly, it sounds like a real deep and open conversation about expectations around sex in your relationship would be helpful. It would allow him to share about some things. Also, knowing what outside of sex makes him feel loved by you. That could give you a clue if his Love Language is something else. I am also curious what your Love Language is?
I wish I had known that physical touch was my husband’s love language before he walked out on me for another. These 10 things ( which have little to do with sex) don’t sound so hard now….. 27 years later. They could have made all the difference. Of course, God used the situation for good and I now know that having Jesus in my life was what He wanted. Still it’s hard to look back and live with the regret and loneliness.
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that your marriage story ends with separation. But like you said God used that situation to bring you closer to him. That is something to be thankful for. Remember to fall on Him when you are lonely or have regrets. He understands you and wants to hear your hurts!
OMG, I just stumbled upon your page while pinning a DIY Christmas, I love it! My husband and I actually took the Love Languages challenge through the App a little over a year now. I was really excited about it and shocked how much happier and passionate we were together just a couple days in to the challenge! I recommend it to every couple out there. With work, 3 boys, and 10 years together, we had to find something. After getting our individual results we were hooked lol never understood the other deep down. I’m exploring the site now, O and I love the “secret “. I can’t wait till he gets off. I love that after 11years he still makes me feel 17!!
Rachelle- I am glad that you guys have been benefiting from knowing each others love language! It really can make a huge difference!
This is perfect! Physical touch is a big thing for me but not so much my boyfriend so it can be a little tough sometimes. I think when people think about physical touch their mind immediately goes to sex but it’s much more than that.
Hi Rebecca- It is true. A lot of people think physical touch is all about sex. And that is just not the case! I am glad you feel this challenge will be helpful for you. I hope you enjoy it!
Cassie, thanks so much for the post! I’ll admit as a guy that Physical Touch can easily lead to the desire for other things, but just a simple touch on the shoulder or kiss on the cheek from my wife means the world to me. It is a simple gesture of love from her to me.
Steve