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Ryan and I have discussed many times what we think newlywed couples argue about the most. We ourselves really have not had any arguments or huge disagreements that we have had to work through. Which makes us wonder even more what is so important that couples argue over. We understand that large arguments might be when someone thinks or believes something so strongly that when their spouse believes or thinks the opposite it may cause issues. (Which is why it is important you and your spouse have the same morals.) However, we also realize that a lot of couples probably argue over things that some consider silly or not worth the argument.
The other day while at church a gentlemen Ryan knows, but has not seen in awhile came up to talk to him. Ryan introduced me and the guy congratulated us on our marriage. We began talking about several things. We ended up talking about newlyweds and the sigmas of fighting and not getting along that some people associate with marriage (this man works in family ministries).
We told him how people have told us that the first year of marriage is the hardest. He responded with saying that usually this is the best time for couples although he has discovered what the top 3 things are newlyweds fight about:
1) Do you roll the toothpaste up from the bottom or squeeze from the middle
2) Which way the toilet paper rolls off as it hangs
3) How the towels are folded
I think he was being somewhat funny (in the sense of I am sure finances rank pretty high), but also somewhat serious as I know some people do argue over these topics. I know that moving in with someone takes getting use to and being okay with things being a little different. When your spouse does something that is not exactly like you do it or prefer it to be done is that a cause for an argument? Or is that a time where you think, “It really doesn’t matter how the towels are folded. (I’m glad they folded them!) One part of marriage is dealing with our small differences.” Next time something small is done just a little different that you are use to think to yourself is it worth an argument, negative feelings and dividing your marriage?
Note: If it is something you truly feel needs to be done another way make sure you are calm before talking the matter over. Think about why it is important to you to be done that way. Then, remember to use I statements like, “I like it when..” or “It makes me feel…” rather than focusing on what they didn’t do “right.”
Another thing I would like to mention- just for future references- the guy also stated that after the second child is born is the hardest time for the marriage. He said that the mother is trying to now handle two children and becomes busy. Possibly feeling like she has no time for her and/or her husband. The couple must work hard to maintain balance and continue to make time for each other.
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