Marcus and Ashley help newlyweds adjust to married life. They blog at Our Peaceful Family and co-host a marriage podcast, The First Year Marriage Show. Visit their website to say hi and check out their book: Communication in Marriage: How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting
One way of keeping your marriage a priority, and growing together with your spouse is:
To make sure you connect every day with your spouse!
After saying I Do, it is very easy to stop connecting with your spouse, especially with how busy life can be.
By connecting with each other during the day, you will be ready for a great night of conversation, sharing the exciting events that happened, your daily challenges as well as sharing some laughs.
There have been times in our marriage that we hardly saw each other during the day. When we did see each other, we were tired from working hard during the day. This meant we could not connect very well during the evening. When we were not able to connect, it affected our intimacy.
Do you connect with your spouse everyday?
You probably do via text messaging or talking with each other.
Both of these are great ways to connect with your spouse, but are you intentional about it?
If not, make it intentional.
“But we are both very busy with everything. We do not have time.”
We know, and can relate to how busy you are: having a busy work schedule, going to college, taking care of the kids, hobbies, running errands, and life!
But these should not be the reason why you can not connect intentionally with your spouse everyday.
Connecting with your spouse will help you to truly appreciate him or her, think about them while you are away from each other, and even better, give you thrills about meeting each other again.
Still have excuses?
Here are 9 simple ways to connect with your spouse throughout your busy day that should leave you with no more excuses.
1) Kiss your spouse goodbye in the morning or whenever you leave. We are not talking about the peck on the cheek or lips, we are talking a good kiss around 5-10 seconds long.
2) Send a text message. Lunch break, or when you have a second in between your busy day, send a flirty text. Or tell your spouse how much you love them, are thankful for them, what you love about them, or tell them how you can’t wait to see him/her again.
3) Greet your spouse when you, or your spouse comes home. Just like before, a 5-10 sec kiss and embrace is recommended!
4) Phones go away, Tv off, and you have real conversation over some good food!
5) Make time, even if it’s 10 min because that’s literally all you have left (shouldn’t be this little amount too often) to take some time to talk and connect. Try dreaming together, reminiscing, planning something fun, talking about your relationship. No phones, tv, or distractions!
6) Leave a note for your spouse where they will be sure to find it and be surprised.
7) Go for a walk together. This can be during the day, or in the evening.
8) Plan your day by starting off enjoying a cup of coffee or tea together in the morning. You can ask each other this simple question, “What are your plans for today?”
9) Listen to a audio book or podcast together while you are driving to your destination and talk about what you learned.
It is very essential to connect with your spouse every single day, even if its just for 15 minutes.
If you do some of the little things above intentionally, with excitement, you will grow together with your spouse, and not apart.
You will wake up the next morning after the your last child has left for college and feel excited about spending more time with your spouse.
By intentionally connecting every day wit your spouse you won’t have to feel like your spouse is a stranger.
Don’t let connecting with your spouse be put on a shelf. Cherish it, love it, and make it happen every day.
How do you make time to connect with your spouse?
Connect with Marcus and Ashley over at their blog at Our Peaceful Family.
love this! You just inspired me to send my hubby a cute text 🙂
Shaunacey,
We are very grateful and glad to know you were inspired by reading. Cheers
Cassie,
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to write for your audience. We are very glad to see the impact its already making.
I’m so glad you could give us another viewpoint on some things, Marcus. Thank you for sharing!
This is so practical and true, Marcus and Ashley. Yet so many couples aren’t either doing it or know to do it. Simple daily connections mean so much and I love that you’ve provided some creative ideas that don’t all look the same. We do need to change things up in order for it to truly come from and be received as if it is from the heart. Thanks also to Cassie for highlighting you and your blog today!
Beth, thank you for reading and agreeing with us. Its very easy to stop doing the little things which makes our spouses and marriages so special.
Excellent advice, and something couples should do every chance they get.
It is possible to lose the connection, and it can be hard – or impossible – to restore. It’s got to be intentional; it’s got to be a high priority.
Andrew, thanks for reading and sharing your insights. A personal touch definitely goes a long way in making our spouse’s day extra special.
One thing to add…sorry, fingers fast, brain in neutral.
When sending text messages, avoid the ‘canned’ messages your phone will prompt you to send, that you’ve sent before, like “on my way home”, “have a good day”, and so on.
They’re obvious; and one’s spouse deserves a personal touch.
One thing I always do is send my wife a unique prayer, at the start of every workday.
I do agree with you, Andrew, that it is so easy to lose connection with your mate. Especially in seasons that are trying or when children come along. It is something we have to be intentional about. It sounds like either your wife’s Love Language or your own is Words of Affirmations from the way you talked about the text message. Sending unique messages are for sure a way to help a couple stay connected!