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Over the past week or so we have been talking about the Five Love Languages. We have already talked about: Words of Affirmations, Quality Time and Receiving Gifts. Today we will talk about Acts of Service.
Acts of Service is where you do a “task” for your spouse that helps them. This love language can be a little bit harder for some people to give. The main thing about Acts of Service is that you are being selfless. But you also may need to figure out what Acts of Service your spouse would enjoy/appreciate the most.
Some things to keep in mind:
-Make sure you are communicating with your spouse! You may think you are being helpful, but actually make your spouse feel like you are taking over something of theirs or doing something they enjoy. If you wash the evening dishes thinking you are helping, yet your spouse enjoys doing it as a destressor in the evening then you are not performing Acts of Service.
-You can offer to help your spouse do something instead of taking over the entire task. Spend some time together and get it done in half the time.
-Do even the small things (putting their cell on the charger, taking out the trash) without mentioning that you did it. Remember it’s about being selfless!
– If your spouses love language is Acts of Service make sure to thank them for the services they do for you! Since we typically automatically try to show love in the same way we like to receive it this means your spouse is trying to show you that they love you!
Try to ask your spouse what you could do for them that day or week. Often times if your spouse needs your Acts of Service they will let you know! You can also do creative things to find out where they would like your help. During the 12 days of Christmas I did for Ryan I used Acts of Service for the “10 Lords Leaping” (See picture above). You could also ask, “If there was one task you wished you never had to do again what would it be?” Not that you have to do it from then on out, but you would know they would appreciate it each time they did not have to do it.
Go figure out what Acts of Service your spouse would appreciate most, then get after them selflessly!
Share below the ways you find out what Acts of Service your spouse would enjoy the most.